Wednesday, January 12, 2011

So it was a year ago today that we found out that moms cancer had come back. And boy has our world changed since then. Of course it was just less then 2 months later and she would be gone. We miss her terribly, but we (I) would not want her to have to be back in this world for anything. So many things are different, but we have done so many good things to. Maybe I will reflect more on those things later, but sometimes I feel like I am so sad that she has passed (and there is nothing wrong with that) that I might not take the time to enjoy what I still have. So I don't want to be someone who looks JUST at what I do not have anymore, but in remembering those things make what is STILL here that much better. Might not make much sense and I have never been good at writing, but just wanted to put that out there. So don't ever take what you have for granted, cause you never know. Mom and I could have some good disagreements, and we did not always see eye to eye on things. And that sometimes made mom feel bad, which is turn would make me feel bad. To the point that sometimes I would not voice my opinion or thought on something if I knew mom wouldn't like it. But you know I wish now of course that she was hear to do that with. Funny I know, but I think everyone feels that way when they lose someone.
So January 12th will be a day I remember along with the anniversary of her death.

5 comments:

Misty said...

I've never experienced a loss like you have, but I can understand how it would be easy to focus on that loss and let it overshadow everything else. I'm sure your Mom would not want you to do that. I think about you all alot and know it must still be very hard not to have your Mom here. Knowing she's in Heaven must be a comfort.

becky said...

Thanks Misty!
Yes, I am glad I am not the type to focus to much on the loss. I can not imagine what it would be like to dwell to much on it. There are times that I actually am not thinking about it at all, and then it will kinda hit me. Wierd, but prolly normal.
I love looking at your blog, but don't comment alot. Hope the new year is treating you all good.

becky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
becky said...

oops, not sure how I got that on there twice but I did. And know I can't get it to delet it. lol

sherryldickinson said...

I loved hearing your thoughts about your mom on this January 12th post. It makes me smile when I think of you and your mom not agreeing. It's often that way with adult children and their parents. And yes, a lot of times it's just easier not to give your opinion when you know that the two of you aren't going to agree. Smile.
My sister, Donna, is coming to HS Camp Meeting on February 7. She will be staying with our brother, Scott Sutherland, at his home. I hope Jesus will give her much spiritual help while she's there. She's trying to learn to be a Christian. She probably met your mother when she lived with us in Sand Lake, Michigan in 1990.
I love you and your sisters. You girls are the ones left here for us to love, since your mama is gone. It is nice that we have you to try to fill her place, although, your mom was one of a kind. She was so talented; and she loved people and she loved Jesus.